My book is about navigating through your adulthood, enhancing your wellbeing and addressing your midlife.
“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across: but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that no one can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!”
Everyone has certain expectations of what their life may be like and how it will unfold. Yet, if there is one certainty I have come to realize, it is that life does not always go according to plan. I have experienced and understood this firsthand. I have lost my daughter to cancer, lost my my career and capital while I was a partner at Arthur Andersen (due to its collapse due to Enron in 2002) ,suffered the pains of a divorce and been the caregiver to too many.
Yet somehow, I found myself to be resilient throughout my adulthood, found myself able to adapt to setbacks , reinvented my career and prospered, immigrated and flourished. How was all of this possible?
I completed a combined masters and doctorate degrees focused on human development, to research and learn how positive psychology can help you flourish and build your resilience. I came to understand how brains can be rewired, appreciate the beauty of neuroplasticity and understand how to reinvent yourself when adversity or opportunity presents itself and you need to adapt.
This is my story, shared in my book, along with my metaphorical explanations of three bridges we cross in adulthood , the pressures we face and how to overcome them. I especially found midlife to be the most intense challenge and have addressed why and how to do this.
My three metaphorical bridges generally correspond to ages 20-40, 40-60 and adulthood after age 60, but they should not be viewed as specific age related but more stage based. I have termed these three bridges as:
• The Bridge of Accumulating Responsibilities
• The Midlife Bridge and
• The Bridge of Decumulation and Simplicity
I have linked the journey across these three bridges to why and how it is important to enhance your wellbeing by embracing positive psychology, so you can thrive, regardless of the stage of adulthood you are in. I am sure that from my own deep losses I was not the only one to ask a deep and personal question, “What’s next?”
Since my daughter died in 2008, I have been on my own thoughtful journey . I wrote my book to give back what I have learnt and experienced during my adulthood and help others navigate their lives, especially during midlife. The lessons I have learnt from grief and loss was the need for a deeper and more thoughtful introspection , resulting in being more authentic, taking off the “mask “ that conceals our true identity and how to be happier.
Now, over ten years after my daughter’s death, I hope my book may help others think about how to successfully navigate their adulthood, traverse my three metaphoric bridges, and enhance their own wellbeing.
